Accra Time
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” she cries while one had beats heard and steady on the dinner table and the other hand tussles her thick head of hair. This is the scene from When Harry Met Sally, when Sally demonstrates how easily a woman can fake an orgasm in an instant. Everyman wants to her their partner to shout loud enough for the neighbor at the end of the block to hear, but the reality is most men don’t know how to get a “Yes! Yes! Yes!” It’s an art to touch the right places, to get her toes curled and her head flung back in uncontrollable pleasure. The truth is, it’s possible but like with any great artist, it takes the right strokes.
It starts with soft kisses, light from shoulder to neck and stopping briefly at her ear so she can feel the heat from your mouth moisten on her neck. Touch her thigh and gently caress. It’s about getting every part of her skin tingling with excitement, anticipation, wondering where the next touch will be. She’ll squirm slightly, her breath will change and the small hairs on her arm with rise. It’s about touch, interlocking of hands, legs, or arms that feeling that two bodies are becoming one.
Her body will always respond to your touch. Each smooth finger on her lips, the stroke from ankle to thigh, each lick of your tongue on nipple—these are the touches that drive her wild. There’s an art to making her moan. Her body will tell you what you are doing right, it will tell you what brings her the most pleasure, but you have to know how to interpret and be focused enough on her to get it right.
Her breath and heart rate will begin to accelerate as she gets closer. She’ll breathe deeper and louder. However, is it usually about this time that most men find themselves close to climax, too. This is when it’s a good time to slow down to long and even strokes. This gives you a chance to lower your heart rate and for her to fully enjoy the experience. It’s about feeling and not about reaching the finish line. For her, it’s about enjoying the ride, but men can you hold on at each rush and turn; can you climb up that final hill one track at a time? Men and women are very different when it comes to reaching sexual climax. For many women, climax isn’t always guaranteed. It’s fairly well known that most women take a while before they reach climax; sometimes it can take women up to 20 minutes to reach climax - if they climax at all. The average man is said to reach climax after 5 minutes of penetration. It doesn’t take a math genius to realize that there’s quite a large gap between the average time for a woman to come and the average time for a male.
Men, we realize it can be hard to hold out for that final moment. She’s squeezing your penis with her pelvic muscles. The more her muscles start to contract you feel her tighten around your penis and it’s at this point that you know she is close. Her body tells you when she’s ready. She’ll be wet and ready for entry, while you have to be firm and ready to charge through. The process that men and women go through in order to reach climax isn’t exact or the same for everyone. However, every man and woman has their triggers and it’s an attentive lover that will learn them and apply them. To increase the odds of both you and your partner reaching satisfaction in the bedroom every time, it’s important to know how men and women are different in terms of how they reach climax. The best way to ensure you both leave each sexual experience flushed, panting, and satisfied is to know how to touch your partner’s right spot.
Many men fear that their partner might be faking an orgasm. As Sally with the “When Harry Met Sally” scenario, where beating palms on the table, tussled hair, and deep cries of passion, show how women have become pros at producing fake and convincing orgasm on the spot. The odds are already stacked against most men, so how do you know if she is really quivering from your touch? There are some physical signs that most women have in common when they reach climax. First, you can feel when a woman comes, because the muscles in the vagina will contract. This contraction is usually partnered with a release of female ejaculate that makes her increasingly wet. You will also notice an increase in breathing, panting, or moaning. The increase to her breathing helps to circulate blood flow throughout the entire body. Other physical signs are flushness in face and chest and uncontrollable muscle movements over her entire body.
Sex and specifically orgasms can be essential to sexual health, promoting inner self-esteem, and giving you more energy. When you and your partner reach and share this energy together, you make your potential for satisfaction and sexual pleasures limitless. Sexologists have determined that there are several types of orgasms. There are clitoral orgasms and vaginal (g-spot) orgasms for women. For men, they can reach orgasm through stimulation of the penis or the prostate gland.
Women can have various types of orgasms depending on whether they are produced by stimulation of the clitoris or vagina, and whether they happened with a partner, a toy, or alone. These orgasms also vary in their strength and sensation. Female orgasms have provoked more questions than male orgasms. This is mainly due to the obvious yet overlooked fact that the female orgasm is not a requirement for reproduction to occur. Male orgasm encourages ejaculation and helps to propel the semen into the vagina, which is necessary for the reproduction. In fact, the male prostate gland is very important to healthy reproduction and healthy pregnancies. The prostate, the male g-spot, makes fluid that is used in semen, about 10-30% of the liquid ejaculated when a man orgasms. The fluid found in the prostate is slightly alkaline. This helps to combat the acidity of a woman’s vagina, which keeps the sperm alive longer once it enters the vagina and helps protect the sperms DNA.
Women’s orgasms might be best described as being implosive. The energy and endorphins released during climax inflate women so to speak; they are full on pleasure. In contrast, male orgasm can be described as explosive. The build up concludes in a brief eruption of noise, elation, and ejaculate. Male orgasms are a release that can often leave men stationary and unresponsive for a few minutes. Women, too, need a moment to reset and take the whole experience in. As men become more aroused and reach climax, they feel an increase in their heart rate and often become flushed. These effects begin to decrease after ejaculation occurs. For women, the build up doesn’t stop with climax. The effect of a flushed appearance and glow remain long after orgasm along with a decrease in stress and tension to the nervous system due to the release of endorphins after climax is reached.
For men, it’s a little more noticeable when they come. As stated before, male ejaculation and orgasm are like explosions and typically shown externally. However, it is important for women to realize that not all men ejaculate when they come. Some men suffer from ejaculation problems. However, they too, can reach climax. It is typical for male orgasm and ejaculation to occur at the same time or close to the same time. Male orgasms are much less complicated than female orgasms. This is the cause of problems such as “wet dreams.” The sensitivity of the male can sometimes be very great and not require a lot of stimulation to produce an orgasm. Scientists have measured brain activity in both sexes and studies have found that there is a lot more activity in the female brain during an orgasm. For this reason, male orgasms tend to be described as mechanical, but for women orgasm depends much on her emotional state.
It takes a lot for a woman to reach orgasm. It all starts with her ability to get out of her own head and just enjoy the moment. For many women, successfully reaching orgasm requires comfortableness in their own body, a relaxed state of mind, enough foreplay to arouse stimulation and a skilled partner. The stereotypes of women plagued with worries and stresses and unable to enjoy sexual experiences have some truth to them. If women don’t get out of their own minds, routines, schedules, duties and deadlines they aren’t able to delve completely into the sexual experience.
For females, clitoral stimulation is the most used and most reliable way to reach climax. Stimulating the clitoris doesn’t require penetration or a partner. Typically, these orgasms are not as intense as a g-spot orgasm or a combined orgasm (penetration and stimulation of the clitoris). Orgasm through g-spot stimulation is often described as the most intense. Yes, the g-spot really exists and it is important for every man to be able to find it. Women have described g-spot orgasms as deep, whole body experiences. These orgasms last longer than clitoral orgasms and the vagina muscles spasm and contract much more violently. G-spot orgasms have been described as the most powerful type of orgasm and they are said to hit like rolling waves of ecstasy. The g-spot is a small area, located about two inches inside the vagina on the topside. It is an extension of the clitoris into the vagina. Sometimes it is difficult to find or locate. It can be distinguished by the way it feels; it feels rough like a ribbed bump, much like the roof of your mouth behind your front teeth. The g-spot is tough and not a sensitive as the clitoris. To stimulate it, you need to apply pressure and even strokes. A combined or blended orgasm incorporates stimulation of both the clitoris and g-spot, and usually leaves her writhing in pleasure and heavy panting.
To stimulate a man’s g-spot, you do this anally. This can be done by applying pressure with a finger or toy to the prostate area. When you are aroused and ready for foreplay, the prostate will expand, making it easier to find and receptive. The prostate is located in about two inches and toward the belly button. It will feel like a bump about the size of a walnut. Stimulation is based on personal preference. Some men enjoy constant pressure to the prostate and others enjoy intermittent pressure being applied. It is always important to remember that exploring new sexual practices is healthy, but best done when you are comfortable and able to enjoy the intimacy and new pleasure. Lubrication is also important to sexual stimulation. The female body will only produce lubrication for the first quarter of the sexual experience. When entering into either the vagina or anal canal it is important to keep in mind that these areas are very sensitive and require plenty of lubrication in order to withstand pressure and constant friction. The saying is true, “The wetter, the better.” Plenty of lubrication ensures ease of entry and persistent stimulation to both his and her sensitive areas.
Foreplay is an important part of stimulation. Many are of the opinion that it is overrated, but foreplay helps to increase lubrication needed for sex and it improves your overall chances of enjoying and intense and enjoyable orgasm. Orgasm is a natural response in the body to the sexual experience; it is the cherry on the sundae. For men, it ensures the existence of future generations. For women, it is a way to improve chances of fertilization. When a woman comes, her vaginal muscles contract and help pull the sperm and semen into her body. However, women do not have to orgasm to become pregnant. It is for this reason that female orgasms are often a mystery.
We have provided you the “how to” for incredible and fulfilling sex. Like with most things, it starts with understanding. Most men want to experience the kind of orgasms Sally acts out in the dinner, but they want it to be real and in their own bedroom. It’s possible to make her moan, pant, and scream your name, but it all comes down to the details. Truth is, the more consistent her orgasms are the more control and power she has in helping to make them a reality with every sexual encounter. Great sex starts with knowing ourselves, the strokes that make our hairs turn, and the right amount of pressure to push us over the edge. The second part to great sex is knowing how to evoke the same fires of passion in your partner. Guys, take the time to set the mood and help her escape the worries of the day. Ladies, be willing to go there and be overcome with the pleasure. Orgasms don’t require a duet, but they can be intensified and are always more fun when shared with a partner.
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