Accra Time
It is spring and everywhere you go you see couples holding hands, laughing, and seeming to be in love. At first you catch yourself smiling but then you start to feel a sinking feeling in your stomach. You want to find love too! You have tried about everything and it just doesn't seem to be coming your way. Well here are some tips for you to think about and attract the love that you want.
As you think about the love you desire, what comes to mind? Are you thinking of past relationships or just hoping the right person comes your way? How would you even know if the person is right for you?
To gain some clarity about your wants sit down and make a list of what you do want in a relationship. Right down everything from the type of body the person has to the type of feet they have. It is very important to be aware of how you want them to treat you as well. Now you do need to understand that nobody is perfect so some of these things are going to have to be put closer to the bottom of the list. So now you get to put the things you wrote down in order from the most important to the least important thing you desire. It is your list; no one will see it unless you share it so try and be completely honest.
Next, open up your list. Let's say you say you want a man or woman that has zero children. Think about what it is that is stopping you from dating someone with a child. Look at this from different perspectives. What if the person has almost everything that you want in a person yet they have a child. Would that be a deal breaker? If so, why? Remember, you don't have all the information when you first meet someone to know what their circumstances are. You could be pushing the very person you are searching for away. Be cautious in your deal breakers.
Next, keep your eyes open. Now this doesn't mean that you analyze every person you met but if you feel an attraction pay attention to it. Oh yes, that means you must be paying attention. You could be in line at the coffee shop and if you are busy texting on your phone, you could be missing the opportunity to talk to the awesome person who is behind you. Open up the opportunities to meet people. Make conversations with people at the park or at a sporting event. You can do this very gently and natural. Find an approach you are comfortable with and start taking some action!
Once you do find someone you want to date, making meaningful connections is the next step. What that means is that while you are dating someone make sure it isn't the material things that you are most attracted to. For instance, there is a gorgeous man, with an almost perfect body and he wants to date you. As you are getting to know this man you realize he doesn't show you affection the way you desire. He doesn't really enjoy kissing which is one of your most favorite things to do in the intimacy department. Do you stay with him because of his presentation and give up something very important to you? You say something like "Well, I guess kissing isn't really that big of a deal". It might not be at that time because you are with someone who is so pleasing on the eyes. Fast forward a few years and you still aren't kissing. You feel like your needs aren't getting met but you have invested all this time and now you have some strong feeling for this person. Know that your needs will come back and beg to be met if you stuff them down and don't take care of them. This creates big problems in relationships, so stay true to your needs and desires. There is someone else who is a better match for you. This leads to the next piece of the puzzle.
Be patient! One of the biggest mistakes made by people is to jump into a relationship just because they don't want to be alone. When you start dating someone be sure they have the qualities you want in a partner. Knowing if your values are a match is a good start. Look at how you treat one another. If you are spending a lot of time arguing, you may need to start looking at other possibilities.
0 comments:
Post a Comment