Accra Time
and asks herself, “Why is everyone else finding a match but
me?” She gets advice from her coupled girlfriends and is
assured that she is desirable and there must be something
wrong with them. Or, perhaps they have an intervention
confronting her with the fact that she is just too picky. If
this sounds like you, check out these top five mistakes women
make when searching for Mr. Right.
1. Making him your “God” – No matter how good-looking,
successful, charming and appealing he is, he is NOT better
than you. Many women shrink when they find someone they think
is a good catch or someone they are just infatuated with. If
you believe that you are less than him and need to earn his
love, what does that say about you? Many men may find this
appealing at first as you feed their ego but they will tire of
this energy after a while. You are always unconsciously
communicating to your potential mates and your inner feelings
of inferiority will be picked up by him. Eventually, he will
start to believe that you aren’t that great either.
Solution: Always believe that you are the prize. Confidence is very
attractive to a healthy person ready for a relationship. No
games, just self-love and respect. Self-hypnosis is a great
way to increase your confidence naturally.
2. Sex before you are emotionally ready – There is no exact
rule as to when you should have sex with your new love
interest. Every relationship dynamic is different. Some
factors that should be considered are your personal religious
beliefs and availability of birth control and STD protection.
The most exciting part of a relationship can be the time spent
before the consummation. Some women want to rush into sex
because it has been a long time or they want to solidify the
bond. However, when a couple sleeps together too soon there is
an incredible amount of pressure placed upon the new
relationship.
Solution: Make sure that you know the person
enough to be able to express your feelings. If you don’t feel
safe opening your heart, then keep your legs closed.
3. Talking about previous relationships – Everyone has a past
and it is very normal for your partner to want to know a
little about your past relationships. The problem occurs when
a woman shares too much about her past heartaches, men who
have treated her poorly or expresses anger or resentment over
her last love. The man wants to feel like it is all about him
not the other guy.
Solution: Keep your heartache stories to
share with your girlfriends. Remember anything you say on your
date can and will be used against you.
4. Planning the wedding after the first date – This is not
only annoying to your girlfriends who hear you say “I think
this is the one” with every new guy who surfaces, but it also
undermines your opportunity to discover what you really want.
If all you can think about is what he will look like next to
you on your wedding day, you may be more in love with the
wedding than the guy. No matter how great a first date can be,
you do not know enough information about him to make a life
choice so soon. You may also sabotage the relationship because
your expectations are so high.
Solution: Save yourself some trouble. Don’t plan the wedding until if and when he proposes.
5. Falling for the relationship instead of the person – This
mistake has caused many women who come to me for help because
they married the wrong person. They were in love with the idea
of being a couple instead of the person that agreed to the
union. Whether their biological clock was ticking or everyone
else was getting married that year, they jumped into the first
relationship that appeared and went with it. Another issue
that arises in this scenario is that many women hold on to
past relationships because of this false pretense. They cannot
let go of their ex, not because they love him but because he
represents a safe-haven from the dark, dreary singles’ life.
Solution: Be clear on the type of man you want to have in your
life. If you are certain on what you are looking for, you will
be less likely to find someone who you bend into your mold of
Mr. Right to fix your single status.
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