Accra Time
Love, Without Trust, Cannot Last
"I don't trust him." "You can't trust her." Broken trust is like broken egg; it can never be put back together again.
The dictionary definition of trust is the "firm reliance on the integrity, ability or character of a person or thing."
We speak about "love" all the time, but love without trust cannot exist. An old Irish saying states, "When mistrust comes in, love goes out."
Trust is a necessary factor in creating a long-term relationship. It is a necessity in marriage. Trust is something that must be earned.
A deep friendship will never form without trust. Each person must believe the other will not intentionally hurt him by using his own vulnerabilities against him; each must feel the other's respect for personal feelings and values; and neither is expected to "push buttons" to intentionally upset the other. This is the "safety factor" in a relationship.
When someone says, "Trust me," you really need to know a bit about them. "Public trust" means the "condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one."
We expect more of those who have power and authority over us: a medical doctor, a psychiatric nurse, a counselor, a judge, a police officer or a religious leader must also maintain a level of "confidentiality" for a trusting relationship. An attorney may speak of it as "attorney-client" privilege, because that protected basic trust is necessary for the relationship to function.
If politicians, priests, and attorneys break our trust, the penalties are usually stiffer than for regular folks. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." Besides losing our confidence, they often end their careers.
"The best proof of love is trust." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)
In marriage, as two people mature together, and learn about each other's goals, dreams, fears, and personal values, the relationship should deepen with time. Of course, many marriages break up, and divorce is one of the toughest "life changes" that people undergo because they are so enmeshed with the other person that it's like losing a piece of themselves; it alters their personal identity.
In marriage, when one partner is unfaithful, that is usually considered a "breach of trust." Sometimes, the other partner will "forgive," but never forget. Oftentimes, it is the breach in a relationship that ends it.
It is common to talk about "earning trust" with a teenager. A parent should be able to negotiate contracts with teens about curfews, drinking and driving, drug use, openness and honesty about what's happening in their lives, reliability about where they are when, and who they're with, etc. Broken trust is a good reason to take away privileges or to not extend privileges in the first place.
Trust implies a basic human emotion for "covering your back." In police and armed service situations of life and death, it is through trusting others with your life that makes the unit work.
"I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." (Nietzsche)
At my age of thinking of getting married soon, I took a magazine “questionnaire” about values and trust in an article on "Can this marriage be saved?" There were questions about religious values, disciplining children, having similar goals, spending money, and so on. There were a few questions about "trust." Can you trust your partner with having your best interests at heart? Can you trust your partner to be there for you when needed? Can you trust your partner to stand by you in times of trouble?
A home without trust is no place for children. There is too much at stake. Life is too short, and this is a major-value item that must be modeled for children.
"Trust your hunches.... Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)
Trust is as important as love in a marriage. It's nice to have both - and love will get you through some rough times - but simple respect and caring and trust will get you through Life. I will want my marriage to have all this values - love, trust, respect, caring, common goals, and fun times together. Don't settle for less.
Finally, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." (Dr. Spock)
When you go through life looking for friends, looking for love, looking for someone to confide in and rely upon, decide whether you can trust that person first, then the other things will fall into place.
"I don't trust him." "You can't trust her." Broken trust is like broken egg; it can never be put back together again.
The dictionary definition of trust is the "firm reliance on the integrity, ability or character of a person or thing."We speak about "love" all the time, but love without trust cannot exist. An old Irish saying states, "When mistrust comes in, love goes out."
Trust is a necessary factor in creating a long-term relationship. It is a necessity in marriage. Trust is something that must be earned.
A deep friendship will never form without trust. Each person must believe the other will not intentionally hurt him by using his own vulnerabilities against him; each must feel the other's respect for personal feelings and values; and neither is expected to "push buttons" to intentionally upset the other. This is the "safety factor" in a relationship.
When someone says, "Trust me," you really need to know a bit about them. "Public trust" means the "condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one."
We expect more of those who have power and authority over us: a medical doctor, a psychiatric nurse, a counselor, a judge, a police officer or a religious leader must also maintain a level of "confidentiality" for a trusting relationship. An attorney may speak of it as "attorney-client" privilege, because that protected basic trust is necessary for the relationship to function.
If politicians, priests, and attorneys break our trust, the penalties are usually stiffer than for regular folks. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." Besides losing our confidence, they often end their careers.
"The best proof of love is trust." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)
In marriage, as two people mature together, and learn about each other's goals, dreams, fears, and personal values, the relationship should deepen with time. Of course, many marriages break up, and divorce is one of the toughest "life changes" that people undergo because they are so enmeshed with the other person that it's like losing a piece of themselves; it alters their personal identity.
In marriage, when one partner is unfaithful, that is usually considered a "breach of trust." Sometimes, the other partner will "forgive," but never forget. Oftentimes, it is the breach in a relationship that ends it.
It is common to talk about "earning trust" with a teenager. A parent should be able to negotiate contracts with teens about curfews, drinking and driving, drug use, openness and honesty about what's happening in their lives, reliability about where they are when, and who they're with, etc. Broken trust is a good reason to take away privileges or to not extend privileges in the first place.
Trust implies a basic human emotion for "covering your back." In police and armed service situations of life and death, it is through trusting others with your life that makes the unit work.
"I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." (Nietzsche)
At my age of thinking of getting married soon, I took a magazine “questionnaire” about values and trust in an article on "Can this marriage be saved?" There were questions about religious values, disciplining children, having similar goals, spending money, and so on. There were a few questions about "trust." Can you trust your partner with having your best interests at heart? Can you trust your partner to be there for you when needed? Can you trust your partner to stand by you in times of trouble?
A home without trust is no place for children. There is too much at stake. Life is too short, and this is a major-value item that must be modeled for children.
"Trust your hunches.... Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)
Trust is as important as love in a marriage. It's nice to have both - and love will get you through some rough times - but simple respect and caring and trust will get you through Life. I will want my marriage to have all this values - love, trust, respect, caring, common goals, and fun times together. Don't settle for less.
Finally, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." (Dr. Spock)
When you go through life looking for friends, looking for love, looking for someone to confide in and rely upon, decide whether you can trust that person first, then the other things will fall into place.
0 comments:
Post a Comment